Screw You
At the risk of becoming the unofficial site of the Nacho Colossus fan club, I have to tell this story. Faithful followers of my blog will recall a time not so long ago (but longer ago than my last post) that my son [and his nose] had an unfortunate encounter with some pebbles. Here I was, worried that this incident would somehow impact upon his future development as a well-rounded citizen, and now I am more concerned than ever...
Some time ago it seems, about 30 years or so, a young mother (we'll call her Mrs. Perry), was tucking her young son (we'll call him Boy Nacho) into bed. While adjusting his cape and fluffing his pillow, Mrs. Perry noticed a faint glistening glint in Boy Nacho's nasal cavity. "Mr. Perry, come quickly!" Mrs. Perry cried. Mr. Perry came running to his wife's distraught side. He, too, spied a metallic glimmer deep in the recesses of Kirk's, I mean Boy Nacho's wee snout. Upon further examination, the Perrys discovered that the glistening glimmering glint was a screw nail that the young fellow had twisted into his cranium. And unfortunately, that is where my story ends. Because unfortunately, that is when Lynette stopped telling it. And so, the fate of the screw nail, not unlike the fate of Kirk's neighbour's cat, is as of yet unknown.
The moral of this story is...be careful when judging people who you think might have a screw loose...it may actually be quite tightly wedged into their sinus cavity.
posted by Stephanie (aka Not Neves) @ 10:55 p.m.
14 comments
14 Comments:
Honestly, somebody tell me what it is with little boys and shoving things up their snouts. Remember, Stephypoo, when my little brother shoved a sticker up into his nasal and had to be rushed tragically to the hospital?! I wonder what adventures Noah and Isaiah have had, or will have, with the nasal obsession factor.
I forgot another vital part of the story...
in an attempt to get the screw nail out of Boy Nacho's nostril, they told him to "Blow, honey, blow." Unfortunately up until this point, Boy Nacho had only had experience in blowing bubbles and birthday candles and attempted to blow the screw nail out through his mouth...I've always wondered how those people who squirt milk through their eye sockets know they can...now I know...
And what in the heck is a screw nail anyway? Is it a screw? Is it a nail? This whole story leaves me with more questions than answers...
My children have never actually shoved anything in their nasal cavity, but one has ate cocking, sucked in gas, ate paint and swallowed vapor air. I am not sure if this is in the same category as the nasal stories but I do think I have won the contest in how many times can my child be taken to the hospital for taking in foreign substances.
If this is the same child who also played in the furnace, I hereby award you the Juvenile Foreign Substance trophy.
I once, at about age 12, had a bead stuck in my ear and had to go to an otolaryngologist to have it removed...since we're telling alien objects stories...
I also ate a whole bottle of Flintstone vitamins once. I had my stomach pumped. I dumped a whole bag of flour on my head once as well. I once called my teacher mom. Just thought I'd get these stories all out in the open.
You once asked a [female] member of your congregation "[Name withheld by request], would you like to go to bed?
Hahahahahaha!
I call my teacher mom too.
Laugh. Out. Loud. Well, I'm glad I came back to visit your site. Thank you, Stephanie for enlightening us about the peril of this particular extra-kirk-ular activity.
I am impressed with your writing capabilities, but contrary to what the story says, Lynnette did give you one other piece of information that you neglected to post. Mr. and Mrs. Perry then tried to get their young son to blow his nose, but he only knew one way to blow. No, it is not the kind of blowing that he is accustomed to now through his bottom, but he kept trying to blow through his mouth and not his nose.
Ps Steph, I will babysit for you on saturday.
Indeed that would be the same child that like to play in the fireplace. p.s. I was getting pretty tired the other night!!
Hey, LynNette, thanks for checking out my blog. You should check out the second comment for this post as well. :)
crumbling castle??? queen??? i don't get it...
You should also keep in mind that a plant will have different branching structures throughout its growth.
Easements are created when another property owner (or interested party) requires access to property that may only be accessed from the primary owner's property.
Chances are you rent or lease the property upon which your business is located, and really have no idea about the types of trees and shrubs that are planted and
why they are planted where they are.
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